This is because their need to be heard has not been met.
One day I remember going to the airport with what I thought was a ticket, only to get to the ticket agent and find myself with an itinerary.
Of course, I panicked and I kept repeating over and over again, “I can’t believe this, I thought this was my ticket.”
I calmed down, but I only stopped repeating this when the ticket agent finally stopped to listen to me instead of giving me advice.
A patient of mine once kept repeating, “My mother says…” I can’t even remember the full sentence. I finally went up to her and said, “Mary, I heard you say that your mother says…” After this she stopped repeating herself.
Another patient kept coming to the nursing station and repeating his concerns… “I am worried about losing my job, I am worried about my dog, I don’t want to gain weight.” I went up to him and said… “Bob, I hear that you are worried about your dog, house, job and you want to keep your weight under control.”
All he needed was a connection, so he stopped coming up to the nursing station for the rest of the evening.
The fact is that listening is one of the quickest ways to bring relief and calm to a person.
I came in to work today wanting to express myself, but I had barely started talking when someone interrupted me and started giving me advice.
This left me feeling frustrated, because simply being heard would have given me relief about the things bothering me.
How many times have you experienced this?
I remember asking someone if I could talk to him and he said, “sure.” But when I started talking, he started talking about his own issue, which was similar to mine.
My heart sank listening to him because I was just looking to express myself so that I could get relief.
So, next time someone wants to talk to you, are you willing to listen to them without giving them advice, consoling them, or turning the attention to yourself?
About the Author:
Bhupinder is a professional trainer with Connection is Key. For tips and information on improving your relationships at home and at work please visit www.connectioniskey.com.
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