An affair is painful…one of the most painful things you can experience.
But it doesn’t always have to end in divorce.
I’m not saying that you should stay together for the sake of staying together and simply sweep an affair under the rug.
However, I want to show you how it is possible to turn an affair into an opportunity to rebuild a better marriage…
So you can have a marriage where you’re both happier, more satisfied and fulfilled.
Rebuilding a New Marriage
Most marriages evolve and morph with little or no forethought when a couple starts a life together.
They bring with them their habits, expectations, assumptions, and beliefs…
All learned from watching their mother and father, other family members, neighbors, TV and movies, previous relationships, etc.
It’s like getting into a car and assuming you know how to drive because you’ve been watching other people drive for years.
And so sometimes the car crashes, the house burns down, and the partnership is on the verge of being severed.
So what can a couple do after an affair?
Just like when a home burns down, you rebuild.
But this time, as with anyone who rebuilds after living in a house for years, they build it to better suit their needs — exactly the way they want.
They rebuild a better marriage than before the affair.
The #1 Mistake Couples Make After an Affair
Before I tell you about what you can do to save you marriage and make it better than it’s ever been before…
Please take 5 minutes to watch my video below and learn about the #1 mistake most women make in the aftermath of an affair.
Your “New” Marriage as a Business
Let’s now take a closer look at just this one (albeit extremely important) step that I spoke about in the video above.
You literally have to look at your “new” marriage as a business.
So what does this entail?
First, you have to be 50/50 partners in designing your new marriage. Each of you will make a list of all the things that make up your life together…
Home, children, social life, work, finances, vacations — everything! Then compare your lists to be sure you haven’t missed anything.
Now take each item and break it down into all that goes into it.
Let’s take your home, for instance. What does your home need to function properly? Cleaning, repairs, maintenance, groceries, cooking, laundry, gardening, etc.
Now decide who will do what. If there are chores that neither of you want to do, then sort out a plan where you take turns.
The primary goal here is to do it together, with eyes wide open. The advantage you have is you now know each other much better than you did when you first became a couple.
This is about you two working together to build a marriage you both want and are willing to work to save.
Planning out each area of your life together — including sex — will bring you closer. You will see your marriage in a new way, and you will be more of a true team than ever before.
You Can Fall in Love Again!
An affair doesn’t have to ruin a marriage.
Yet, it does require a couple to consciously build a new relationship to replace the one that no longer exists.
If you’d like to know more about the other steps you need to take to save your marriage…
My Affair Repair Guide offers clear and simple guidance to reignite love and rebuild your marriage…
A marriage that stands on a new foundation with better communication, deeper intimacy, authentic appreciation of each other, and that can even reignite the “in love sparkles!”
About the Author:
Kara Oh is a best-selling author and relationship coach and creator of several programs including the Affair Repair Guide.
She has been interviewed on hundreds of radio and TV shows sharing her insights about what makes men tick and how to create heart-thumping, toe-curling relationships.
Kara is a mother of two grown children and grandmother of a teenage grandson. She is enjoying a beautiful relationship with a “younger” man who has two young girls that keep her life interesting.
Which of your girlfriends needs your support to work through the difficulties of an affair?
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Latest posts by Kara Oh (see all)
- Is He Not Giving You Enough Attention? - April 30th, 2013
- Simple Secrets to a Sizzling Hot Sex Life - March 23rd, 2013
- Yes, You Can Have a Better Marriage After an Affair - December 27th, 2012