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What He Really Means When He Says “I’m Not Ready”
Posted By TW Jackson On July 18th, 2012 @ 7:03 am In Relationships | No Comments
[1]“I love you, but I’m just not ready to get married yet.”
Have you ever heard that before?
What the heck does this mean anyway?
In your mind, if he loves you then marriage is the natural next step [1], right?
It’s like that old rhyme that kids chant: “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage!”
It’s simply the natural relationship progression that you as a woman have learned to expect.
So when a man says he loves you but he’s just not ready yet, it can really throw a monkey wrench into your emotional well-being.
This can make you begin to question whether or not he really does love you like he says he does…and create a whole mess of undesirable reactions that can spell t-r-o-u-b-l-e for your (up ‘til now) rosy future together.
The first thing you need to realize is that just because he loves you, it doesn’t mean it’s enough to make a marriage. At least not a good one!
If your man is telling you he’s not yet ready for marriage, there are a couple of reasons why this may be the case.
[1]We are conditioned by the media to believe so many misconceptions about love and relationships that it’s almost tragic.
TV often portrays marriage as some abstract “ball and chain” that requires a man to give up his freedom and commit to a life of hell on earth.
A monogamous life of hell on earth, no less!
For a man, contemplating a life like that is frightening and simply does not motivate him to want any part of marriage or commitment.
Men live in a constant state of fear over losing their freedom and they don’t want to be viewed as being “whipped.”
It’s a thought that terrifies most men and sends them running in the opposite direction…
And unfortunately, because there are very few true depictions of healthy marriages (it simply doesn’t make good television), the misconceptions become a man’s perception of reality.
Men are hardwired to believe that marriage (and all the things that come with it) is almost something to mourn rather than something to celebrate.
[1]They view being single, dating lots of women and living it up as the “Holy Grail” of a life well lived…and if you want marriage from him, you want to change him.
If you can help him see that committing to a relationship with you [1] doesn’t spell changing himself for you or letting go of the things he loves to do…
He will come around and wind up being ecstatic over creating a life with you.
But he has to feel that you are both in the adventure together and that you fully support him and his “true life mission” in order for him to be enthusiastic about embarking on the adventure in the first place.
[1]Another reason he may be pulling the “I love you but I’m not ready to marry you” card is because…
You’ve inadvertently ran roughshod over his masculine hero avatar regarding his craving for your loyalty.
Whether a man will admit it or not, he desperately wants your fierce loyalty.
Whether it’s defending him to the future in-laws, staying faithful in the path of temptation, or never revealing his vulnerable side to others in public…
He counts on you to have his back.
If you’ve unknowingly taken a misstep here, it can spell disaster for a future together because he needs to feel like he can trust you 100% in all areas of your life together.
Just as you as a woman need to feel loved and supported, he as a man needs to feel loved and that you will never betray him.
Once you’ve broken this trust, you’ve changed his “heart light” from Green to Yellow or Red. And on the inside (whether he can articulate it or not) he’s struggling to figure out the next step and if the trust can be repaired.
[1]Once he’s certain he has your loyalty…
There are still 3 other reasons he may drag his feet on the way to the altar. You can watch this eye-opening video presentation [1] to discover more about each of these reasons.
You’ll learn how to overcome obstacles to gaining his commitment without resorting to ultimatums or being pushy.
Learn the secrets of getting him to the altar… [1]
About the Author:
[1]TW “T Dub” Jackson is the author of The Magic of Making Up. He has helped over 100,000 couples in over 77 countries fix badly broken relationships.
TW and partner Jonathan Green teamed up to create the Girl Gets Ring [1] system.
This is the first non-pushy method ever created that allows you to stop wasting your precious time and gain virtually any man’s total devotion and enthusiastic commitment to you and your future together.
Which remarkable women in your life would love to get their guy to pop the question?
Please share this insightful article with each of them using the email and social media buttons below.
Thank you
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