Imagine the WORST argument you’ve ever had with your man…
You’re yelling, he’s yelling. You’re crying and he doesn’t even seem to care.
He retreats to the garage or turns on the TV, you don’t speak for days and any look from either of you feels like a poison dart straight to the heart.
You may have thought, “We’re getting close to the end of what was once a promising, loving relationship.”
Instead of living on the Love Boat, your relationship feels more like it’s trapped in the “kill or be killed” situation of The Hunger Games!
How can a relationship possibly survive with this type of conflict?
Believe it or not, it can…and I’m going to show you how.
Why Fighting Isn’t Always a Bad Thing
Now, if you’re like most women, you think fighting with your man is terrible…
Well, that’s not necessarily the case.
Fighting is actually NOT the number one cause — or even a predictor — of relationship failure. Not even close.
Actually, fighting can stimulate positive change in a relationship assuming there isn’t a mix of psychological warfare, back-stabbing and needless put-downs added to the fight.
Researchers were curious why some couples could fight and then within hours be right back in each other’s arms again, seemingly HAPPIER than before they fought, while other couples kept growing closer…
To divorce court!
When they started the study, the researchers believed that the words “I’m sorry,” were the key to effective relationship repair.
But after analyzing more than 600 couples over a 14-year stretch, the researches were stunned to find out that they were wrong.
They found that, while almost all couples apologized, only a percentage of them effectively repaired the relationship after the argument.
There was something else going on — something the researchers NEVER expected.
Their Stunning Discovery
The difference between couples who stayed together and those who drifted apart wasn’t what they were actually saying or doing during or even immediately after the fight…
The key was in what the couple was saying and doing the days, weeks, months and years before and after their arguments.
After analyzing couples who stay out of divorce court, these researchers realized that for every negative event, the couple had at least 5 POSITIVE events.
That was their secret weapon.
We’re not talking big deals here like a weekend away or a piece of jewelry or even flowers every time there’s a big fight…
Nope, it was just simple little things, such as a little kiss good morning, a long hug as a sign of affection, a love note, kind word or thoughtful gesture.
In other words, it’s the “little things” that actually make a massive difference!
The little deposits you make into the love bank on a day-to-day basis cancel out any withdrawals that are made when you have the periodic all-out-war type of fights.
And that’s how those at-each-other’s-throats couples can seem like they’re on the verge of breaking up one day, and then appear to be deeply in love as if they are newly dating the next day.
It’s all because they’re using the “together-forever technique” against all of that negativity.
How to Reclaim that Dating Spark in Your Relationship
The takeaway here is that you already have the power to create a close, loving, emotionally fulfilling connection with your man…
In fact, if you try it…you’ll soon feel like you’re dating him all over again. You just have to put that secret technique to work, starting RIGHT NOW.
It doesn’t mean that you stop fighting. Let’s face it: that’s completely unrealistic!
What it means is that the next time you DO get in a fight, keep in mind the concept of outweighing a handful of negatives with a barrel full of positives.
The Rule of Six
In fact, I challenge the couples I counsel to aim for the Rule of Six…
For every negative interaction you have with your man, you have to override it with at least six positive interactions.
It’s like money in the love bank!
When the overwhelming majority of your interactions are positive ones, the smaller number of negative interactions isn’t powerful enough to take down your relationship.
Positive interactions build a relationship fortress, and they’re your secret weapon for creating emotional intimacy between you and your man.
And that will lay the groundwork for developing a deeply fulfilling, blissful relationship that will flourish for decades to come.
Watch my informative video presentation to learn more powerful secrets that will melt your man’s heart and help you create an intensely loving, intimate relationship that lasts!
About the Author:
Randy Bennett is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who currently practices in Aurora, IL.
For 25 years, Randy has specialized in restoring marriages, pre-marital counseling and family restoration.
He has become one of the country’s leading authorities in helping women learn to become assertive in order to positively influence their husband and transform their relationships.
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