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By Rori Raye On June 13th, 2012

Imagine if you could get the man you’re dating to ask YOU for a commitment, instead of the other way around…wouldn’t that be amazing?

There wouldn’t be a need to have the dreaded “talk” that usually ends up with you feeling miserable and him wanting to head straight for the hills!

Then there’s also the uncomfortable “ultimatum” which starts with you saying something like…

“If we don’t start dating exclusively, then we should end this relationship now.”

Unfortunately, ultimatums don’t work either. If he calls your bluff, you’ll be stuck between a rock and a hard place. If you didn’t really want to break up, you’ll feel compelled to end the relationship just to keep your word.

Or you could end up going back on your word and staying in the relationship. This sends out the wrong signal—that you’re likely to stick with him even if he never agrees to commit!

On the other hand, if he gives in to your ultimatum and commits to you, he’ll feel pressured into an exclusive relationship, which is the starting point for all sorts of problems later.

No matter how you look at it, “talks” and “ultimatums” are lose-lose situations.

Men and Commitment

The truth is, when you first meet a man, the initial passion and chemistry is enough to get him to ask you out and crave you sexually.

However, getting him to commit is a whole new kettle of fish.

Men view commitment differently from women. When you think of commitment, you might visualize long walks by the beach, holding hands or growing old together side by side.

When a man thinks of commitment, he imagines being “tied down” and forced to give up his own dreams to “settle” exclusively with one woman.

The only way to lift this negative imagery from his mind is to get him to feel excited, enthusiastic and eager to make you his. He should feel jealous just at the thought of someone else dating you and worried about losing you to another man.

Rather than having “the talk” or giving him ultimatums, which usually end in tears (yours) and an impulse to leave the relationship (his), you should subtly “coax” him into asking you for a commitment.

Sound impossible? Not if you know the simple secrets that will have him eager to dive into an exclusive relationship with you.

All it takes are five simple but powerful steps that will get him to beg you for a commitment.

STEP #1: Avoid Bringing Up the “Commitment” Discussion.

When you feel anxious or worried about where your relationship is headed, it’s hard to resist wanting to know what he’s thinking.

But, constantly trying to talk with him about commitment feels stressful to him and will only make him dig in his heels and retreat

…even if he was on the verge of committing all on his own.

So, no matter how much you’re dying to know what he’s thinking, resist the temptation to constantly bring up this tender topic.

STEP #2: Stop Convincing Him

The more you try to make a case for how great you are as a couple, the more he feels cornered and manipulated.

Your reasoning feels like criticism to him and makes him unable to share his true feelings.

That’s certainly not the vibe you want to create in a loving relationship.

A man falls in love when he feels like he can make you happy by being himself and sharing the deepest parts of who he is.

By rejecting those parts, you make him feel wrong and cause him to protect his true feelings and his heart from connecting with yours.

STEP #3: Share Your True Feelings

When you feel good with a man, let him know! By opening up and sharing your feelings, you allow him to connect to you and the positive experience you are sharing.

It makes him feel good that he makes you feel good, and he’ll want more of that good stuff.

As you continue to lay a stronger foundation of positive feelings, it’s only natural that he will see you as a necessary and beautiful part of his life—and he’ll want to make sure you stay in it.

STEP #4: Commit to Yourself First

Instead of trying to convince him to commit, share your dreams and what you want for your future.

For example, you might say…

“I don’t want to put pressure on the relationship. I don’t want to try to convince you, or rush you. It feels good to be with you, but I know I want to have a family someday. What do you think?”

When he sees that you are first and foremost committed to yourself and your dreams, he will feel fired up about you. He will appreciate you for having a high value for yourself and this will get him to want you all for himself.

STEP #5: Keep Your Options Open

Dating is a time for you to find out what you really want in a relationship. You can’t do this if you close yourself off to other men before you have the commitment you desire.

By meeting lots of people, you open yourself up to discovering a truly great match. You also avoid making any one man the center of your world. 

Remember, your first commitment is always to you!

The bonus is that he’ll know you’re not closed off to other options, which will only inspire him to try harder to keep you for himself…and commit!

As you can see, the key to making a man want you all for himself is to be the woman who loves him but doesn’t need him. When he senses that he’s very lucky to have you in the first place, he’ll be motivated to seal the deal before another guy gets in there first.

If you would like to learn more powerful techniques on getting and keeping the man you want and if you’d like to discover how men decide whether or not a woman is “the one”…

Please click on the link below and subscribe to my free e-newsletter and you’ll learn powerful, effective ways to…

—> Inspire a man to create
a lasting relationship with you <—

About the Author:

Rori Raye is a trained relationship coach, a former crisis counselor, and currently has a wonderful private practice helping women who are struggling in their love lives.

She has helped thousands of women experience success in their love lives through her e-Book, programs and newsletter.

—> Get him to commit…now and forever! <—

Which amazing women in your life desperately need this simple, step-by-step guide to getting a man to commit?

Please share this powerful article with each of them using the social media and email buttons below.

Thank you :-)

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